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Friday, 24 June 2011

Shout Shout…Let it All Out

I am married to a noise machine. Sorry Laura, but it is true.

It seems to me that part of the culture here is to make as much noise as you can in a small a place as possible. Examples include, cars, bathrooms, offices anywhere were there is good resonance.

Why do people have to shout so much? I actually have problems recruiting good sales people as during the interview the volume levels increase as they try to sell themselves! Therefore I thought I would give a list of guidelines for my Spanish friends and family on how to communicate with me.

  1. Mobile phones use billions of dollars of technology. These include not only cutting ede microphones and speaker, but satellite and computery stuff. We can conclude that you are not using two yoghurt cartons and a bit of string. Therefore, don’t shout down the phone!!! Please!!! It hurts!!!
  2. The home is basically a serious of interconnected boxes where you can retire to relax. It is not relaxing to be shouted down at point blank range, in the bathroom. I can hear well. I am not deaf (yet) so just talk.
  3. The car is a dangerous place, where you need to concentrate when driving. It is not a place for a heated debate about Belen Esteban in the back seat with the occasional kick or push to the back, just to emphasize a point.
  4. Sales people, just because you shout, it does not mean you are right. Try listening to what the client wants rather than saying what you want to sell and then shouting the same thing louder when there is a question.
  5. Managers, shouting does not earn the respect of your staff (mind you its better to blow off at your staff than at home, otherwise the shouting will go on all night)
  6. Drunk people who walk up my street every night shouting at each other. Carry on, I’ve set up a series of high pressure hoses along my balcony.
  7. People who use the mobile phone on the Metro or Ave. It’s a bit like point 1 but even more annoying.
  8. People in queues, don’t shout and jostle and push. Please. I get very stressed in queues.

Anyone want to add another occasion?

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